When should aging individuals stop driving?  I asked myself this question when my long-time friend, Jenna, told me that her last visit to the grocery store ended in what could’ve been tragic.

She forgot where she lived and had no idea how to get back home.  Fortunately for her, a good samaritan helped her.

What if that good samaritan wasn’t “good?”

If you have aging parents who are still driving or you are their primary caregiver and have some concerns, here are five strategies you should do to ensure their driving safety.

Strategy #1:  Notice the Warning Signs

Increase in Accidents

In 2022, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported approximately 9,100 drivers aged 65 years or over were involved in fatal motor vehicle accidents.  Over 270,000 were treated in emergency rooms.  The statistics are very alarming and highlight the importance of driver safety among these individuals.

But what about unreported accidents?  What happens if you notice new scrapes, dents, or scratches on your parent’s car?  This might be a sign of their struggle to judge distance whenever they park in close spaces.  Look for unexplained damage that your parent doesn’t recall as well.

If your loved one mentions “close calls” like running a stop sign or almost getting hit by another car, then this could be an indication of decline in reaction time.  Listen for comments like, “I didn’t see that stop sign” or “I almost didn’t see that woman crossing the street.”

Collisions with objects (such as a fence or mailbox) may be a sign of difficulty with peripheral vision.

Confusion about Directions

Just like my friend Jenna, aging individuals may forget familiar routes or become disoriented.  Although fatigue, stress, anxiety, and cognitive decline may be potential causes, it’s a serious concern in which steps must be taken to protect safety.

Slow Driving or Difficulty Judging Distance and Speed

Having trouble maintaining a consistent speed with the flow of traffic can be equally as dangerous as speeding.  Your parent or loved one may struggle with maintaining a safe distance when merging with traffic or may engage in excessive braking.  Look for jerking movements while they are driving as this could be a sign of slow reaction time which could lead to accidents.

Medications that Can Impair Driving

As people age, taking multiple medications for a variety of conditions is not uncommon.  There are some medications which may affect driving ability.  Check with your parent to see if they are taking any for blood pressure, pain, anxiety, or sleep as these may cause drowsiness, dizziness, or impaired concentration.

If you suspect that medications are having a negative impact on driving, then encourage your parent to consult with their doctor about possible alternative treatment methods including other therapies not involving medication.

Behavior or Personality Changes

Observing changes in behavior or personality may signal physical and/or mental health issues, including potential side effects of medication.  Such changes include increased forgetfulness, out of character behaviors (such as risk-taking or making inappropriate comments), increased irritability/anger, or social withdrawal and isolation.

These behavioral changes can impact ability to make decisions that protect safety and recognize dangerous situations while driving.  Just like my friend Jenna, who trusted a stranger to guide her home.

Strategy #2:  Discuss with the Parent

It is important to sit down with your loved one and discuss driving safety.  This will be a difficult subject as it brings up the subject of their independence.  Approach it with empathy, meaning put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would want someone to address you on this topic.

Acknowledge Independence

Begin with acknowledgement of how important driving is for their independence.  Start your sentences with “I” statements to validate their feelings and reduce any defensiveness.

Express Concerns Calmly

In a calm tone of voice, speak caringly about their safety rather than criticize their driving.  One way to say this might be, “I’ve been noticing some things you’ve told me about your driving that don’t seem like situations that have been going on in the past.  I’m worried about your safety out there on the road.”  

Be Specific About the Concerns

Vague comments are not helpful when having this conversation and they may sound ingenuine.  Be specific by providing examples so that your concerns are based on facts.  You might say, “Last time we drove together, I noticed that you struggled to remember how to get to the store we’ve been going to for years, and I’m worried because I want you to be safe.”

Involve Them in the Conversation

By asking open-ended questions, it provides your parent with an opportunity to express how they feel and if they’ve noticed driving changes.  Listen closely after you ask, “What has your experience been like on the road lately?”  Acknowledge their feelings by summarizing what they said to show that you understand their experience.

Develop a Plan

Focus on creating a plan by framing it as a team effort.  If the decision is not to drive, then do not emphasize that but highlight the positives on how to get them to places they want to go and still feel independent.

Strategy #3:  Speak with a Medical Professional

While having the discussion with your loved one, you may realize that there are some potential side effects to medications that are having an impact on driving.  Reviewing with the doctor about these side effects so that adjustments, such as dosage, can be made is essential.

There may be alternative medications that would be helpful and safer.

Also ask about other treatment possibilities, such as lifestyle changes, talk therapy, or physical therapy that can provide favorable results.

Strategy #4:  Obtain a Driving Assessment

Obtaining a driving evaluation can determine if your loved one continues to be capable of safe driving.  You can approach the topic by stating, “If you’re up to it, we can schedule an evaluation to make sure that you are feeling confident on the road.”

This driving assessment typically involves the following:

1. Cognitive evaluation – addresses memory, attention, judgment, and decision-making
2. Physical evaluation – checks mobility, coordination, and reaction time
3. Behind the Wheel evaluation – specialist rides with the senior to observe driving in real life situations
4. Medical History Review – Health professional reviews the history to understand conditions that can affect driving ability

There are several professional organizations who offer these assessments.  Some are:

• American Automobile Association (AAA) – offers a Senior Driver’s Assessment Program, which includes a self-assessment tool for older adults and resources for families.
• DriveABLE – offers driving assessments for older adults, focusing on both cognitive and physical driving abilities.
• State and Local Departments of Motor Vehicles (DMVs) – offer driving evaluations, provide resources for local driving specialists, and in some states, can review fitness to drive when family members or doctors report concerns.  Check your local DMV for specific programs
• Cognifit – offers online assessments that can provide insight into attention, reaction time, and memory which are necessary for safe driving.

You may also check these websites as they offer resources to locate professionals for driving evaluations as well as information and tips on safe driving for aging individuals:

• American Association of Retired Persons
• American Medical Association
• National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

Once you find the most appropriate program, schedule the evaluation.  Let your loved one know this is a way of staying safe but also confirming their strengths.  After the assessment, the driving professional will make recommendations such as limitations for driving (daytime only) or securing alternative transportation methods.

Strategy #5:  Offer Alternative Transportation

Here are some transportation options that can assist aging individuals in maintaining their independence and safety.  Make sure to let your parent know that you would be happy to help find options if needed.

Many communities offer senior transportation services such as GoGoGrandparent.  Family and friends may also network to offer rideshare services as a way to get around.

The Red Cross also provides volunteer transportation to assist with getting to medical appointments.  Contact your local chapter for specifics on services.

Many cities offer paratransit services for aging and disabled individuals.  These may be available through local transit authorities.

Final Thoughts

Knowing when it’s time for seniors to stop driving is a sensitive topic but it is necessary to ensure theirs and others safety.  Noticing the warning signs, having open conversations, and seeking professional advice will help your parents maintain independence and decrease risks.

Don’t wait for an accident to happen before you take action – be proactive – take your first step by having that empathic conversation and exploring the best options for their safety and well-being.